Copywriter for hire

It’s a beautiful day to be a copywriter!

I assume. I wouldn’t know personally since nobody will hire me. No no, it’s fine. I can just go flip burgers or something like that.

Okay now that I got that out of my system, let me write a keyword-rich post that potential employers will find so they can offer me a job.

My internship has almost expired. And when it is over, my current employers intend to set me out on the porch with a saucer of milk. And into the cold, cruel world with me.

To my knowledge, there are very few copywriters in Fort Worth. But there are even fewer copywriter jobs. About a gazillion ad agencies exist in the metroplex but as far as I can tell, only about one of them supports a full-time copywriter position.

So what’s a guy to do?

I’ve got a working knowledge of HTML and CSS as well as SEO. I have a “strong command over the English language” – which is a trope I’m sick of seeing on job qualifications – and a fun, quirky writing style. What’s not to love?

One thing that occurred to me as an endless line of interns were tromping through GCG, is that they all start looking the same. And as I sent countless emails to potential employers essentially begging for a job, it occurred to me that I probably sound the same. I was not branding myself at all! I was sending the same old same old:

To whom it may whatever,
I am a blah blah, currently blah blah. I have experience yadda yadda and would love to you know whatever. If you feel you have need of barf vomit yuck yuck, please peruse my portfolio at your leisure (pronounced leh – zhur in the British way) I would love to blah blah blah yacketty schmacketty.

You get it, right? If that’s not enough to make you vomit then you should read it harder or not try to write copy. What the hell was I sending to people?

And now I must brand myself.

And here too is where the advice portion of this blog starts. If you are a copywriter, write some damn copy. Don’t send a plea for employment! You are better than your peers. You are the right writer for the job. So let ’em see!

Here’s something a little warmer:

Sup bitches,
You probably don’t know how bad you need me. Well have a seat, ’cause I’m gonna tell you.

Kidding. Obviously. Although if standing out is what you want, this is probably a good example. Here’s what I’m working on:

(name of agency) Team,
I’m Steven Long. I’m a writer.
I know HTML, CSS and JavaScript. But I’m not a coder. Coders can make things pretty and accessible. Functional. And that’s good. But it’s not what I do.
I know Illustrator and Indesign, but I’m not a designer. Designers can put things where they need to be to look their best, and make pretty pictures and logos. And I can do all that too. But that’s not my thing.
I know how to put words together in a fun and readable way. But I’m not a writer. Oh wait. . . I am a writer! And I know SEO too, dammit!

Okay so it still needs some work. But you get the point. So I’m working on a boilerplate to let agencies and businesses know I am available to do freelance writing or contract or full-time or whatever. Remember, writers: you are writers!

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