On Pregnancy Advice

I know I don’t know what I’m doing.

But don’t assume that means I haven’t researched. Maybe I’m unique among men in that I’m trying to take an active role in my wife’s pregnancy. I mean – beyond the initial contribution. I’m sure there are plenty of modern men who are interested in helping their wives through the madness.

To prepare ourselves we attended a 10-week Birth Boot Camp led by Julia West who was an excellent instructor and just a swell person. The classes – a gift from my parents – were focused on Natural Childbirth. We’ve got stacks of books to which we actually refer as well as competent midwives.

What I’m trying to say is that even though we don’t really know what we’re getting in to, we are doing everything we can to educate and inform ourselves.

I’ll try not to rant

But it can be difficult on a blog that acts more or less like a journal. My blogging goal is to be informative. Especially for those going through what we are. So maybe I shall state this in the format of an advice column.

If you know someone who is expecting
  • We know you want to be helpful. Really, we do. But when you offer unsolicited advice to an expecting couple, they could be offended by what they perceive as your lack of confidence in them. We know that you are the only smart person and the best parent the planet has. That’s great. If we need advice we’ll ask for it. Otherwise just say something encouraging and leave it alone. Don’t tell us what we “need to watch out for” because the last thing Mom needs is more to worry about. Not ranting. Just informing.
  • If you know someone who is planning a natural birth
  • Whether or not you think it’s a good idea, and especially if you don’t, keep your opinion to yourself. If the couple is deciding to go natural it is not because they are less educated on the topic. Almost all American couples initially think ‘traditional’ childbirth. The idea to go natural usually comes after research has happened. If you haven’t researched natural childbirth then keep you mouth shut. Odds are good that the couple knows much more on the topic than do you. Odds are even better that they’ve already heard whatever ill-considered tidbit you are thinking of sharing. Again, not ranting.
  • If your own child is having a natural birth
  • See above paragraph. I just wanted to add here that our own parents have been incredibly supportive and we love them. If your kid has decided to go natural, please consider how important your own support is. If they are brave enough to skip the epidural in order to do what is best for their baby, you should be satisfied that you’ve raised a mindful child and they deserve for you to be open to their wishes.
  • If you are planning a natural birth
  • Just remember that these unasked consultants mean well. Even though you get very tired of the same advice (“Get your sleep while you can! Haha!”) over and over, just remember your baby is in there listening to you talk crap about those people later. A quieter option your baby can’t hear is to blog about it. Ha!

On Natural Birth

I could really get into rant-mode over this. And if I’m feeling ranty later I very well might post on the subject. But for now let’s just leave this how it is. Natural childbirth isn’t Witch Doctor Hoodoo. Do your homework before you judge.

Till next time,

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