Who Am I?


Who am I?  Just a nerd, really.

An avid learner of nerdy stuff.  I’ve been attending college as a sort of hobby for like 10 years.  But now I’m about to be a dad and things are looking very different. The college shuffle has turned into a race to the finish line. The history major I was interested has lost its importance and the Communications Technology major has taken over my life. Although I’ve kicked around the idea of blogging for a while, and even made an attempt at it, pursuing a career in web design is what really made me act on the idea.

Here’s my “professional-ish website”

So

As my wife gets closer to her due date (Saturday) and as the pressure of working and going to school full time approaches the boiling point, the ‘who am I?‘ question starts to lose focus and it’s harder to answer.  Plus: who I am now is probably not who I will be in a few weeks.

All my friends with kids insist that there is nothing else like having a baby.  I’m sort of like duh. I sort of wish I had started this blog months ago. Tracing the emotional path from ‘just finding out’ to ‘about to catch my baby’ would have been entertaining for me and possibly even helpful for some untold number of nerdy new dads.

Makin’ Babies

Making a baby seemed like a good idea. And I’m sure it will be the greatest like they tell me it will be. The pregnancy was semi-planned, by which I mean I thought I knew what I was getting into. Of course, once Jen peed on that stick, the rest of life has been a blur. I was in denial at first, feeling pretty sure she was messing with me. It was surreal. But her giant baby belly tells it all, whether I am ready or not.

As a hobby junkie I may or may not have selfish concerns about how being a dad will affect my ability to play tabletop wargames and video games and continue my long and aimless adventure through college. Can Nerdhood withstand Dadhood? Do I have to grow a mustache now? And those baggy-butt dad jeans? Hold on. Let me start a new paragraph while we tackle some of these pressing questions.

Can Nerdhood Survive?

Ask your friends. Ask your own father. Most of them say no. They say things like: “You can’t have hobbies once you’re a father.” Once dadhood is achieved, you must renounce things like personal space, personal property, personal time, personal cash. I speculated to a couple of my dad-friends that it could be fun to have Fathers’ Day get-togethers. You know — a couple of beers and a board game? Maybe a night at Speed Zone or the casino or something bro-ey. I mean, Fathers’ Day, right? Fathers! My pal Joe responded thus: “I think you misunderstand what Fathers’ Day is”
What the hell does that mean?! Does Steven Long die and Dad takes his place? Must I give up everything I’ve ever loved? Surely not!

Do Dads have to be Dorky?

Maybe this is a result of my own experience having a dorky dad, but I have come to equate ‘dad’ with ‘dork’ including cheesy jokes and dad jeans. I love my dad, and those qualities are not really bad, but it is hardly the way I want to be perceived. Can a dad be cool? I’ll bet one can.

What’s my point?

Don’t have one. This is just a rant. Maybe a few other new dads will read this and have the same questions. If my new blogging hobby can survive dadhood, maybe we will all see this through to the other side. I can document my progress like Jeff Goldblum in The Fly until my metamorphosis is complete.
Hope you’ve enjoyed this,
Steven Long

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